Hello Reader, "I've sorted my side of the house, I know exactly what needs to go, but my partner won't let me touch their things." I hear a version of this from clients all the time and what I've noticed is that these disagreements are rarely about the stuff. Each person has a need that hasn't been named: calm and mental space for one, perhaps safety, continuity or a sense of identity for the other. When those needs collide unspoken, the argument ends up being about the objects themselves,...
20 days ago • 1 min read
Hello Reader, Have you ever started decluttering, felt motivated for a while, and then watched the progress you made quietly fall apart? Or walked into a beautifully ordered room and felt, if you're honest, a bit flat or even bored? If either of those sounds familiar, it's probably not a willpower problem. It's personality. I am fascinated with understanding the psychology of our homes, it is even the title of the introduction to my book The Secret Life of Clutter. One of the most widely used...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
Hello Reader, Delaying a tricky conversation doesn't make it easier. We all know this is true. And it also applies to pretty much anything we are avoiding because it may be hard, painful or challenges what we know. The status quo feels safe because it feels familiar. Like the proverbial frog in a pan of water that is slowly heated up, we will tolerate things that become gradually less comfortable; situations that we’d jump straight out of if we were put directly into them. Whether that’s a...
2 months ago • 1 min read
Hello Reader, There's a particular kind of wardrobe clutter that has nothing to do with clothes. The suit from a job you left a decade ago. The jeans from ten years and two sizes back. The going-out dress from a version of your life that doesn't exist anymore. None of it's really about the item, it's about what letting it go would mean. I write about this in my latest blog, How to Organise a Cluttered Wardrobe: 7 Mistakes to Fix. I go into a lot of wardrobes for work, and that's one of seven...
3 months ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader, Whether you have just finished decluttering your paperwork, you are partway through the process, or you are simply thinking about getting it more organised, at some point the same question comes up: once you know what you are keeping, where does it actually live? Not just stuffed into the nearest drawer, but somewhere logical, easy to find, and easy to maintain so it stays that way. Most of us inherit our paperwork system rather than choose it. One thing I have noticed across years...
3 months ago • 1 min read
Somewhere in your home - or maybe in more than one place - there is a pile of paper quietly growing. Letters you meant to open, a form from school, a receipt you might need one day, a leaflet from a restaurant. It never seems to be anyone's fault. It just accumulates. Paperwork is unusual as far as clutter goes. It does not just take up drawer space, it seems to demand attention every time you see it, which is part of why it drains so much more mental energy than its size would suggest....
3 months ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader, Does any of this sound familiar? A friend doesn't reply to your message for a few hours, and you're convinced you've upset them. Someone gives you gentle, well-meant feedback, and you can't shake it off for the rest of the day. You ask for a favour, and the pause before they answer fills you with shame before they've even said a word. If you recognise yourself in any of that, there may be a reason: it's called Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), and it's a common trait linked to...
4 months ago • 1 min read
Hello Reader, Most of us imagine that getting on top of clutter requires a big push. A free weekend, a burst of motivation, a complete clear-out. And often it does, which is why I work with people in three day intensives. But underneath all of that, there is another layer of work that happens in the small moments. The tiny decisions you make as you move through your day that either feed the clutter or begin to dissolve it. These habits can help maintain order once you have done a big...
5 months ago • 2 min read
Hello Reader, As the year begins, you may be thinking about what you want this next chapter to look like. Some people choose a word for the year. Others set goals or themes. And some quietly resist the whole idea. There is no right way in, but I want to offer you one simple question. What do you want more of this year, and what do you want less of? I’ve been thinking about travel recently, and Greece keeps calling to me. In particular, Delphi. At the ancient Temple of Apollo, three short...
10 months ago • 1 min read